What is a social phobia?
Social phobia is the state of unexplained fear of being embarrassed when talking to others or meeting them, especially when talking to strangers. Social phobia may affect your life so much in an unexpected way. When we talk about social phobia, we do not mean shyness. Being shy is a natural feeling and it is not a problem. Social phobia is far more dangerous than shyness. When you get social phobia, you have constant anxiety about what others think of you, and you think a lot about how people look at you and judge you in every behavior. As a result, you suffer from great difficulties in life. There are two basic ways of treating social phobia: behavioral therapy and medical drugs.
When can I say that I am infected with social phobia?
If you have the following symptoms, you are suffering from social phobia:
-Disturbing fear of social attitudes: Fear to act embarrassingly or humiliatingly for you, fearing that others might think that you are stupid, immature, foolish, etc.
-Fear may be in the situations that others are looking at, even if they are acquaintances or those close to you. For example, you might be afraid when you are asked to "play" a role in a play, to cast a poem or a word, to make an offer at a meeting, to participate in any discussion, or speaking up in a seminar or lecture, etc.
-Your fear may be associated mostly with social attitudes as it involves meeting strangers. For example, you may be afraid to eat in public places due to fear of being embarrassed.
Fear of social events: You may be scared for weeks before attending a social event that requires you to appear publicly as a speaker and you may not attend. But in case you attend, you will:
-Worry deeply and lose concentration.
-Face Symptoms of anxiety including tremor, rapid heart palpitations, excessive sweating, dry throat, chest pain, headache, abdominal pain, nausea, difficulty in breathing.
-Often make up the reasons to get out of the place during the occasion, or leave without notice to anyone before the event ends.
-In some cases, you may experience Panic Attack.
You, by yourself, should know whether your fear is logical or not. Perhaps you can best identify your signs of social phobia.
The way to treat social phobia begins here:
No one on earth deserves to live being isolated from society just because he is afraid that someone will be ashamed of him. The incidence of social phobia has many negative effects. You might not give your best at school, college, or work just because you avoid teamwork or public appearances. You will also find yourself isolated from the community to permanently avoid social events and gatherings; it may even be difficult for you to make new friends. The treatment journey begins now with the following steps:
Mental Alert:
By alerting your mind to your own attention, noticing your psychological state at every step, you can make out that you are suffering from social phobia or not. Be confident and avoid social terror.
Sequence Control:
One of the best things you can do as a next step is to control the sequence of your thoughts that may lead you to fear or anxiety. Instead of going negative, you can think: Why did this idea come to me? What other alternatives? What are the results of this thinking? What is its importance? You can even write these ideas on a paper to make it easier for yourself to deal with.
For example:
The idea: I cracked a joke and no one laughed at it. Surely, they are thinking now how stupid I am!!
Why: I don’t know why I think this way... They did not laugh... Maybe it is my social phobia and my usual concern. (Here was applied step 1... mental alert)
Alternatives to the idea: Perhaps they do not find the joke funny, not that I am stupid... Perhaps it is heard before and repeated for them... they did not understand the joke... They may not be the kind who laugh loudly or they do not know how to express their admiration for something, perhaps they are shy.
The expected outcome of the idea: One joke cannot change their outlook for me, the worse they can think is that I don’t know good jokes, and that does not mean I'm stupid, and perhaps their taste just different from me.
The importance of this result: Even if they look at me negatively for a joke, I do not know why I care... Actually, I do not know them and I may not meet them anymore. Their opinion does not matter, and it should not affect me in any way, so I should not feel worried.
Simply this is what we mean by the sequence of ideas, how you can control them for your benefit, and steer them away from negative thinking.
Remove Fear By Facing It:
This step requires courage and strength and maybe the hardest, but its results are the fastest and the best in the treatment of social phobia. Social phobia may give rise to several fears. The most important is the fear of being embarrassed, and the fear of people judging you. In some cases, it has been found that coping with these fears for a long time until you get used to them, will help you, and this is known as (Desensitization).
For example, in order to face the fear of embarrassment and the treatment of social phobia, you can embarrass yourself - within your control - to stop the fear of being embarrassed. For example, you can wear a clown costume, go out to a semi-public place, face people with this outfit, and stay for hours until you feel you are not afraid or not embarrassed anymore. You can also play in a public place, read aloud or something that will draw attention to you, and stay that way until you stop feeling scared and tense.
Friends Are Important In The Treatment Of Social Phobia:
Perhaps this is the best treatment for social phobia. Try to make more friends, or be close to your friends more. Try to deal with people who promote your positive thinking and always give you psychological support. Studies have shown that those with greater social support are always more self-confident, and self-confidence helps greatly in the treatment social phobia.
Sources Of Distraction:
The biggest part of the social phobia treatment is to minimize your negative thinking, either before, during or after each situation. The sources of distraction distract you from negative thinking. Some of the best distractions are:
· Worship and reading religious books
· Sports
· Spend time with family, friends, and children
· Fun programs on television or radio
· Internet
Some people tend to hear slow or sad music, watch drama, etc., all of which increase negative thinking, and put you in the same spiral of sadness you are trying to get out of. Try to improve your mood, and to strengthen your positive strengths and not vice versa.
At the end, there is no immediate cure for social phobia, but you have to stick to what you plan to do for treatment even if the results are delayed, at least it would be better off than if you gave up. Remember that you have enough courage to be better than others, and that's what made you look for treatment.
